On the evening of Aug 1, the Beijing Concert Hall was alive with music, laughter, and celebration as Gong Linna marked her 50th birthday with a performance unlike any other.

The hall was filled with her fans, her music teachers, neighbors, and friends — people who had supported her through the highs and lows of her journey.

"It was an evening to honor not just my music but the woman I have become," she says with a big smile.

Shaped by years of introspection, struggle and growth, the concert featured some of Gong's best-known songs. With each note, she shared a piece of herself, revealing the depths of her vulnerability and strength.

Between songs, Gong spoke openly about the purpose behind this celebration. It wasn't just about her birthday or her music — "it was a moment to celebrate life itself", to reflect on the years that had shaped her, and to embrace the powerful themes of her new book, Do Not Worry, Be Yourself, released that day.

The book, six years in the making, chronicles Gong's life between 40 and 50, a period of profound change and personal awakening. From the dizzying heights of fame to quiet moments of self-doubt, from the end of her 20-year marriage to career breakthroughs, Gong's path was anything but easy. Yet, through it all, she says that she discovered something profound — the power of truly being herself.

"It's one of the most important books of my spiritual growth and development," she says.

In the book, she recounts her struggles with the pressures of fame and the unease that accompanied her rise to stardom. At the peak of her career, burdened by public expectations and her own ambitions, she began questioning everything.

Healing in Dali

"Fame came with its set of challenges. I was unsure of who I was beyond the public persona of a 'star'," she recalls.

A turning point came when, facing a severe leg injury and a stagnant career, Gong made a bold choice: she left Beijing, the city that had defined her career, and moved to the tranquil beauty of Dali, Yunnan province — a place where she could escape the pressures of fame and reconnect with herself. In Dali's simplicity, she found space for healing, both physically and emotionally.

In Dali, she sang every day, not just by herself, but also with neighbors who formed a choir, which performed at her Beijing concert.

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She also reflects on her marriage to Robert Zollitsch, a German composer and musicologist.

Gong began singing at the age of 5 in her hometown, Guiyang, Guizhou province, in Southwest China. The musically versatile youngster enrolled to study folk music at the China Conservatory of Music in Beijing at 16. She held her first solo concert in 1999, and in 2000, won the second prize at the CCTV young singers Grand Prix, becoming a regular at major galas.

She met Zollitsch in 2002. Together, they explored new musical horizons. Zollitsch composed for Gong, and with his support, she left her secure position with a top traditional Chinese orchestra to pursue her own artistic voice.

One of the first songs they recorded was Free Bird. Inspiration came from breaking free from the constraints of traditional singing styles to pursue self-expression.

"I wanted to move beyond the established norms and structures of the conventional singing techniques I learned for decades. Instead, I embraced a more personal and authentic form of artistic expression," says Gong, who performed the song at the Aug 1 concert.

Their biggest hit was Tan Te (Unease), a song without lyrics, released in 2009.With Gong's powerful voice, wide vocal range and dramatic facial expressions, the song drew rave reviews, making Gong an internet sensation. They went on to release albums inspired by traditional Chinese poetry, with a goal of preserving the essence of traditional Chinese folk music in new forms. They also composed songs inspired by the 24 Solar Terms, a traditional Chinese calendar that summarizes different seasonal phenomena.

Five years ago, the pandemic separated them, prompting Gong to reflect on her artistic independence. Gradually, she realized she no longer needed to depend on anyone.

"When the fruit of love spoils, you must clean it up and perform surgery in time. Otherwise, all you'll be left with is broken pieces," she writes in the book. Through these reflections, she came to see love not as possession or control but as mutual growth and support.

In October 2024, their marriage ended. Gong marked the occasion with a party, inviting the friends who had attended her wedding and performing the music she and Zollitsch created together.

"We have two lovely sons and created so much great music together. That's very beautiful," she says.

Journey back to music

In Dali, Gong rekindled her musical spark. The book describes her journey back to music — not through the lens of commercial success but through the joy of creation and artistic freedom. She explored new musical collaborations, stepping out of her comfort zone and trying new forms, like rap and performances on the music competition Riding Wind, a bold TV show for women above 30 in the entertainment industry that is shattering age stereotypes and showcasing the multifaceted brilliance of women at every stage of life.

"I tried musical styles that I had never done before. I also learned street dance. I never expected that I could dance," she says, adding that dancing is now part of her life.

With a hectic schedule, from touring around the country to releasing albums, Gong still collects folk songs wherever she travels. In a village in Nujiang Lisu autonomous prefecture, Yunnan province, for example, she met an elderly couple who set up a small balcony on the second floor of their home. They would call their neighbors to come in the evening and play music together after days spent picking tea leaves or farming.

"Sounds that come from the land have the most vibrant vitality," says Gong.

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"I finished the book in one go. What attracted me was its honesty and straightforwardness. Like many people, I have long enjoyed her songs, but after reading this book, I listen to them with a new understanding," says TV host Jing Yidan.

Contact the writer at chennan@chinadaily.com.cn